As a writer, I am not perfect and am only human, which means I am bound to make mistakes. I have noticed three mistakes that I repeatedly keep making and hope that this realization will help me make the necessary changes in my writing to make it better.

1. Capitalization of brands

Examples from Quiz #13 – did not capitalize both brands on quiz

A: The boy with Down Syndrome ate an Oreo

B: Ralph pedaled the pike while eating a Popsicle

2. Using the passive voice

Quiz #17

Wrong:  It was posted on their personal website by Tray Parker and Matt Stone that…

Right: Trey Parker and Matt Stone posted on their personal website that…

3. Spelling out places that can be abbreviated

Quiz #16

New York Avenue -> Ave.

Quiz #18

Reading, Pennsylvania -> Pa.

I recently wrote  a press release for a local YMCA as an assignment. The location was not specific so I decided to use the Hunterdon County YMCA. This seemed like the most relevant location to choose because I worked there for 3 years as a lifeguard and swim instructor and felt a natural attachment to this place. I feel that these blogs will be helpful to my neighbors and those in my area as well as any swimmer interested in joining the HCYMCA or any Y.

Relevant Blogs to Press Release:

1.Hunterdon County YMCA
This is a blog for the local YMCA in my hometown. It would be relevant because those in the area who are YMCA members or are planning to become members can learn about the activities at this Y. There is sufficient information as well as comments and feedback to help prospective patrons make their decisions.

2.Hunterdon County Online
This blog is all about the activities of Hunterdon County. If something is happening in the “908” you can check this blog to find out what is going on. It is a great way to stay updated on the area.

3. Hunterdon County Moms

Moms have a great way of keeping in contact and sharing what they are interested in for activities in the area. They can discuss tips and tricks for how to keep their kids entertained and give advice to other Moms for safe and fun activities.

4. My Central Jersey

Hunterdon County is located in central Jersey and this is a less location specific blog. For those not in Hunterdon county, they can find out about this YMCA’s swim classes, which would be a benefit if they did not know of a local YMCA.

5. Swim Blog

Swimmers of all ages can learn the ins & outs of swimming. This blog would be a great place to advertise for swim lessons. Swimmers can not only find out what products to use and who the top swimmer is but will additionally be able to find places to swim and learn if they do not know how to already.

Today I listened to a news story on NPR’s All Things Considered called Pantha Du Prince: Techno Music A Rock Fan Can Love. This story was to highlight the German producer’s latest production, “Black Noise.” A woman introduces the story by stating that an audience for indie rock and techno don’t mix. Michaelangelo Matos tells the story through a serious of one or two sentence facts amidst background music that is from Pantha Du Prince. In between each statement, a clip of the music is played alone. This patter occurs throughout the whole story while various aspects such as descriptions of the tracs, history, impact of the melody and how the CD is set up. Pantha has gained major name recognition for innovation with “Black Noise.” I liked the balance between narrative and music such that the facts were straightforward and there was the opportunity to hear samples of the music being discussed. Overall this was a great news story that integrated sound bites in a unique and appropriate way for the story.

I found this web package in the Arts section of the New York Times. It is of a retired dancer, Anne Bass who chooses to dance again once her daughters started and and upon being too tired she decides to make the dance film, “Dancing Across Borders” with a young Cambodian boy.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/21/movies/21bass.html?ref=dance

Elements of the package include:

-A picture of Anne Bass, with Sokvannara Sar, the dancer she discovered in Cambodia 10 years ago

-The “Dancing Across Borders” trailer

-A related article of Sokvannara Sar taking part in the ballet competition in Varna, Bulgaria.

-Links to Peter Boal, Khemer Rouge, School of American Ballet, New York City Ballet

-A section that helps you share the article via Twitter and E-mail in which you have to “sign in to recommend”

-List of stories you might also like

-The article can also be shared through Linkedin, Digg, Facebook, Mixx, Myspace, and Yahoo! Buzz

Like:

I like how the trailer for the movie is posted to this web package. It is a great way for the reader to get a glimpse of the movie being described. Especially after all the build up from the journey of how the movie was made it is great to see part of the finished product. Descriptions can only say so much, but to see something takes a story to a whole new level. The video of the young dancer’s past is also a great element such that viewers can see the other forms of dance not in the film that he can perform. There are also many other links to explore in this article that are relevant to the article which are a good idea if the readers want more information on the people and places that are mentioned.

Dislikes:

I would have never clicked on the links to Peter Boal or Khemer Rouge because I have no idea who they are and am not interested despite their links being helpful to some people who want to learn more about them

http://topics.nytimes.com/topics/reference/timestopics/people/b/peter_boal/index.html?inline=nyt-per

http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/organizations/k/khmer_rouge/index.html?inline=nyt-org

Immediate suspension is to occur for any fraternity member possessing alcohol with the reinstatement of the policy banning alcohol from fraternity houses.

Two weeks ago, University President Harvey Smithville restated the policy that, “any fraternity in which the members have alcohol will be immediately suspended. A second offense within a year will result in the banning of that fraternity for five years.”

With recent deaths at both LSU and MIT due to alcohol poisoning, the issue of drinking at fraternity parties has caused significant concerns from many.

Three students from the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity, Press Martin, Al Amalek, and Rob Smith were admitted to a local hospital and diagnosed with alcohol poisoning after a party at the ABZ house according to the university public relations office.

Martin and Smith were released from the hospital on Monday morning while Amalek is still there and listed in critical condition.

A number of witnesses say alcohol was being consumed by those diagnosed. Based on these findings, the fraternity and all its activities on campus are to be suspended.

Addison, a fellow brother, is shocked that this incident has occurred and does not believe that the entire fraternity should be held responsible for the actions of a few.

Conversely, Interfraternity Council president Bart Addison issued the statement, “we wholeheartedly agree with President Smithville that alcohol has no place at fraternity parties.”

Alongside the council’s support, the university might also increase its police patrols of fraternity houses on the weekends.

There is a recurring issue of fraternities consuming alcohol against the rules of the university and with this issue on the rise, more people are suffering the consequences whether medically or socially.

Two weeks ago a ban on alcohol’s presence in fraternity houses on campus property was re-instated. If the policy is violated, immediate suspension will occur.

University president Harvey Smithville re-instated the policy banning alcohol from fraternity houses on campus with a backup statement that “any fraternity in which the members have alcohol will be immediately suspended. A second offense within a year will result in the banning of that fraternity for five years.”

Three students of the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity were the latest brothers to suffer from alcohol poisoning after consuming alcohol at a party.

A fellow brother, Addison  states “I am in shocked that this incident has occurred. I believe that everyone was adhering to the University’s policy. However, I do not believe that the entire fraternity should be held responsible for the actions of a few. I am going to ask President Smithville to reconsider his suspension of the ABZs.”

While the university is debating a punishment for the policy violation, Jane Mize of the university’s public relations department notes that a suspension of a year is the typical consequence for this offense.

If this issue continues to rise, the university might increase its police patrols of fraternity houses on the weekend until it decreases.

When you log into Facebook it is inevitable to go on the site without noticing an abundance of posts on the live feed wall of your friend’s recent activities. Aside from writing on friend’s walls and posting pictures, users now see events such as “changed profile picture,” however it is to a celebrity or “became a fan of…” These new phenomenons are taking over the news feeds when they seem to be completely pointless such as the group “I Used to Cover My Hands in Glue at School Just So I Could Peel It Off.” Groups like these are gaining more members each day, which is a statement to others about a certain friend’s interests. While the groups have little meaning and are joined to share a commonality with others in the group, there is something interesting about why there is such an obsession to join these groups or become fans of certain pages. For example, I have a friend whose new groups and fan pages take up more than half my feed and I sometimes wonder if she actually  relates to all the groups to share a bond with others or if she is mindlessly clicking on them to join for the sake of joining.

Recently, a student from LSU and one from MIT have died from alcohol poisoning. There is a recurring issue of fraternities consuming alcohol against the rules of the university. With this issue on the rise, more people are suffering the consequences whether medically or socially. Two weeks ago a ban on alcohol’s presence in fraternity houses on campus property was re-instated. If the policy is violated, immediate suspension will occur. The suspension will entail a ban of the fraternity for five years after a second offense. Following the description of the punishment administrators feel alcohol has no place at fraternity parties and they will take extreme measures until the students receive the message of their seriousness regarding the issue. Three students, Press Martin, Al Amalek, and Rob Smith of the Alpha Beta Zeta fraternity were the latest brothers to suffer from alcohol poisoning after consuming alcohol at a party. A fellow brother, Addison believes that the entire fraternity should not be held responsible for the careless actions of a few. While the university is debating a punishment for the policy violation, Jane Mize of the university’s public relations department notes that a suspension of a year is the typical consequence for this offense. If this issue continues to rise, the university might increase its police patrols of fraternity houses on the weekend until it decreases.

Straight News – Timberlake’s brand brings the road to the runway

NEW YORK — William Rast, the contemporary fashion label by Justin Timberlake and longtime friend Trace Ayala, marched a parade of biker styles down the runway at New York Fashion Week Wednesday night in a collection dubbed “New America.”

Anecdotal – Win a medal. Now what? Welcome to the mixed zone.

When Julia Mancuso skied to the bottom of the Franz’s Run at Whistler Creekside Thursday afternoon, she looked at the scoreboard, saw herself in first, fell to the ground and began kicking her skis in celebration.

Direct Quote – Judge: Chris Brown Doing “Really, Really Well”

LOS ANGELES — R&B singer Chris Brown is “doing really, really well” fulfilling the terms of his probation related to last year’s assault of then-girlfriend Rihanna, according to a judge.

Bad Lead -Singing prove to help stroke patients learn words

Boston (DbTechNo) – Results of a new study show that teaching stroke patients to sing may help speed up their recovery.

I think it is a bad lead because the words are the same as the title which shows no creativity. The lead offers nothing new to the story that the title has already offered and I felt that the author could have introduced a new idea that will capture the readers attention further than the basic facts the title has already stated. The only difference between the lead and title is the mention of speed in the lead which is not enough to make it a great one.

Protest

Lead: Wilbur Straking plans to lead a group of 25 dedicated Christians to the state capital next Monday to object to evolution being taught in the University biology class.

Second Paragraph: Wilbur Straking is a pastor at the Ever-Faithful Church of the Living Water. While leading students to the capital, they intend on speaking with legislators about their concerns with teaching that go against the principles of the Christian country. In their trip, they hope to put a stop to Laura Cliff, an associate biology professor’s evolution teachings. Laura and the university president both refused to comment on the group’s charges.